I Walked Alone ..


 

Only if good people stop falling in love with… Sluts

 

January, and the year 2012

Tallinn was kind to me…

I was staying in front of the door at this early  hour of the morning, I was mind clear, cold  and little tired, sleet made life better and better at this time .

I can’t control my mind, and I can’t control what to think about, so I found myself thinking about escaping, less than 2 years, it’s not something am proud to remember, and I used to hate stucking in dirty stories even if the joystick was on my hands, but to the natural bad ass inside it was a brand new experience to be like that, it’s really easy to attract good girl, and It’s hard like hell to get a whore’s attention

Anyway I can’t help it now, or later, but that’s what I was thinking about when I decided to read the mail again, that mail, and I remembered Peter, and after all what I went through it still making me not okay when to know that someone got hurt and got his life destroyed for something he has nothing to do with, he wasn’t a close friend, I can barely call him a friend, but I used to know that I have that train neighbor inside which made me trustable for no reason

Whatever, I opened that doc again and read it once and twice, too sad and really hurts, if it wasn’t me I would never believe what happened to him, but I know better than anyone how may a person be the worst enemy for himself, he was in love, and he did what lovers used to do, life was good, life was great, and I seems nothing will make this fail

If you were a girl, then you know well how does it feel when you got humiliated by something you did in love, I know better than anyone too, you are in love, you did things in the name of love, love ended, and you may face the consequences of being too naïve to gave it all under love’s flag, you know as a girl it hurts, but you don’t know that it hurts 10 times more for the one you loved, when it came from another third person, I think we all know this, nothing new

But the real sick thing when it related to secrets that only both of you know, WHAT! did you tell your friend ? Did I made it for you and know am doing it for thousands on the web, then you realized that it’s not him!! , weird? I know, it seems like when you wake up in the morning in your dark room and get a cup of water, and when you just finished you get a call telling you drinking water after waking up is not healthy!! What the fuck!! , it may be a nice idea for a horror movie or you may be your under control of an astral projector, but real life is not that fantasy, when you walk in the jungle under the moon on mid month it’s more than 99% percent that you will go home safe and you will not meet a werewolf !

It was the start, and I still reading, after we knew that, and now we sure that it wasn’t you and it wasn’t her and since that we are sure that what is you receiving is something you didn’t tell or show any one, so let’s see the odds, if it were before Jan 25th 2011 I would tell you that it’s something related to the fucking dismantled state security, but it’s not logical, yeah they are a group of fucking gay ass mother fuckers and they may do this and worst, but their lived are complicated enough, they may do this for have fun not to threat you, so we only have the last and the most realistic odd, exactly, a web hacker

I know you became aware, she sent you a pic and 5 mins later she received it from that address! Just 5 mins! it seems like this hacker is doing nothing but watching you 24/7m well don’t send me pics, but making no sense, every word you type is getting its way to her immediately !! , well let’s not talk online , and when you felt it’s embarrassing in Egypt to ask for police help, you decided to bring a private sniper, a trustable one, to help you to know who is this, and all you can do is waiting and go on with your miserable life, until that night when the phone rings

 

–       Hey , away ya Peter

–       Away ya  …. Azyk 3amla ayh

–        3amla zeft b2a anta bet3ml kda w ana aly knt mesad2ak !

–       Fy ayh bas ana 3amlt ayh

–       Ana gatly call delwa2ty 7alan, al hacker beta3ak 3erf mnyn anna 7anet2abel blyl ?

–       N3m !!

–       Rod 3alya 3erf mnyn anna 7anet2abl blyl

–       Ya … lesa fy et7mal kbyr asasn ano hacking 3alyky anty msh 3alya ana ba3ml aly b2dar 3alyh !!

–       Fe3lan ? anta msh wa5ed balk wala betstahbel? A7na ma2olnash dy fy al pc wala fy al mobile a7na olnah anhrda al sob7 w a7na sawa, w maknsh 7ad feh 3’erna , ana w anta w rabna bas aly 3arfyn anna 7nt2abel anhrda blyl, maho ya ema ana aly kalmt nafsy w olt lha, ya ema al hacker kan a3ed b2a gwa shantety w ana msh wa5da baly

–       E2fly ya ….

–       Msh afla ana 3ayzha afham azay 3mlt kda w 3ayz a mn kda

–       Olt lk e2fly

–       Anta 7ayawan w zebala

–       …. ? anty bt2oly ly kda ! aloo …. !!

 

Shock and confusion, but the real feel inside, was fear, yeah, you afraid to say it, the truth is taking her panties slowly and you are afraid of what you expecting to see, some days earlier you were mostly realized that it wasn’t about hackers or cops, and you are barely breathing, your heart beats loud and fast like a metal band drums, Jesus.. Help me!!

I admit that my heart start to hurt as this point, when you see things is going to change forever, and u can’t do anything but closing your eyes to avoid watching, it was that night when your private sniper called you, and asked you to meet him in the night

 

–       A ya m3lm

–       Azyk ya Peter ayh al a5bar

–       Tamam tamam oly 3erft 7aga

–       Mmmm , msh 3aref

–       Msh 3aref ayh 3erft wala msh 3erft omal klmtny lyh ?

–       Bos ya Peter, hwa anty mawgod fy al shabka m3 7ad ?

–       Al net asdk ? la manta 3aref ana lewa7dy malysh fy 7ewar al waslat da ana lewa7dy

–       Mot2aked an ma7dsh ma3ak wala mewasl le7ad wala 7ad 3amal hach 3ala al shabka beta3tk ?

–       Ya 3m enta ahbal 7akon mewasl le 7ad w nasy !! w ba3dyn hack ayh ana al router 3andy wire msh wireless, engaz allah yekrmk

–       Tyb bos, bema an al msgs kant btro7 le … ba3d ma teb3atha lyha b 5 mins, awel ma teb3atha t2om gaya lha mn al mail al tany, olt a7sn wa2t any akon online w enta online, ana olt lk kda w adytk al patch 3ashan ashof your pc w anta a3ed , bas al moshkela any la2yt 3andak al 7emaya gamda awy ! tol ma anta on ana msh ader ad5ol 3alyk, mosta7el, mn al a5er mosta7el hacker ye3rf yed5ol 3alyk, w anta mn al awel 3aref an mafysh 7ad ye2dr ye3ml hacking 3alyk 3ashan 3andak protection bnt 7aram malhash 7al, bas anta fedlt 7awaly youmin kda msh betban, fa ana 5at al mail aly byb3at kol 7aga le … w adyto le wa7d a3rfo yet3aml ma3ah kda w yshof, 3amlo add, w estnah lama b2a on, w kalemo w tb3an w hwa bykalemo kan sha3’al 3ala al gehaz 3ando 3ashan yewsal le ay 7aga, oly hwa anta nazlt windows aw ay 7aga oryb ?

–       – ah ambate7 nazlt windows eshm3na

–       3ashan kda ya m3lm

–       Aly hwa ayh b2a ?

–       Anta 3’aleban nazlt windows w msh nazlt b2a al security stuff beta3k, nazlt windows w sebt al pc w 5alas, 3ashan kda lama al wad sa7by add al mail w 7awel yed5ol 3alyh la2ah 3ady 5ales w da5al b sohola

–       Msh fahem !

–       Hwa gably kol 7aga

–       Kol al details beta3t al mails

–       Msh al password wala al 7agat dy ya3ny dol kano kolhm nos sa3a aly kan fyhm on w maknsh byrod 3alyh

–       Omal ?

–       Hwa bas edr ye3rf hwa da5el mnyn , al address beta3o w edaholy w aly sa7bak msh odamo ela ano yebal’3 al police w 5alas ana 3erft al address number, bas tb3an al details aly 3n sa7eb al address number esmo b2a w sakn fyn w kol da al sherka bas beta3t al net aly te2dr te3rfha ,, w tb3an msh bydo al details dy le ay 7ad , so msh odamo ela ano yebal’3 al police

–       Police ayh bas

–       Ana ma2oltlksh e3ml kda, ana be basata 5at al address da w karento b 7aga, faker lama sa2ltk fy al awel 7ad ma3ak fy al shabka ? w olty ly la2

–       Ah

–       Kan 3ashan a2olk ano al address aly kan byb3at le … al 7agat dy hwa hwa al address bta3k ..

–       …………………………………..

–       Ana zyk msh 3aref sara7a ,, bt2ol ma7dsh ma3ak 7ad fy al shabaka w al router wire msh wireless, ya3ny al e7tmal al wa7yd ano aly sewar btwesal le … mn nafs al pc aly anta a3ed 3alyh

–       Mmmmmm

–       Oly, hwa dymn kant al sewar betwsalha w anty a3ed ? ya3ny awel ma teb3atlk 7aga aw tklmk kant betwsalha mn al mail al tany 3ala tol ? wala kan sa3at by7sal anha betwsalha w anty msh on ?

–       Ah 7aslt ktyr anha kant betb3at ly 7aga blyl then tetb3tlha tany youm al sob7 aw al dohr

–       Al  hacker may2drsh ye3ml kda, ana fahm ano mmkn ye3ml kda w anta online la2no tol ma anta fate7 ur pc hwa a3ed gwah , anma azay 7ya5od 7aga mno w anta aflo asln ??

–       ………………………………..

–       Bos ana 3amlt aly a2dar 3alyh bas al akyd ano msh hacker, da 7ad using ur pc w byb3at mno kol da, ah al hacker ye2dar ye3mlha w anta on, anma lama olt kan by7sal w anta msh on asln wala fate7 al pc yeb2a b basata mafysh hacker

–       Omal fyh 3afryt

–       Ma3rfsh b2a bas al akyd b nesbt 100% ano al 7agat kant betwsal le … mn ur pc, mn nafs al pc aly anta a3ed 3alyh, shof b2a lw a5ok wala abok wala 7ad sa7bk a3ed ma3ak

–       7ad sa7by a3ed ma3aya w ana online 3ala al pc w byb3at 7agat mn mail tany w ana a3ed online mn nafs al pc, mmmmmmmmmm

–       Ya3m ma3rfsh ana olt lk aly weslt lo, kol 7aga kant bettb3t mn ur pc, bas 5elst shaklk asasn bet7awar w anta aly ba3tha ya abn al mara,

–       Lol, mashy ya m3lm, ta3btk ma3aya

–       La wala yehmk shof bas anta al donya fyha a

–       Aly y3ozo rabna , yala salam ana lazm amshy delwa2ty

–       Salam ya 7ag Peter

 

This was the last words in the doc, I closed it and u start to think again, when I received this mail about 9 months ago, it contains this word document and headlined with one sentence ‘I gone crazy, I knew I did it”

I don’t know when and how do schizophrenia hit a man, and though I didn’t know more than what’s was in the doc, but I can see clearly what happened, he left his sniper, and gone home, he knew that his fears came true, and he thought that this only happen in movies, a Peter loves, and another Peter destroying, yeah, after all life is more fantasy than fantasy itself, and he was sure now that if he went to the jungle, he will meet the werewolf, he didn’t know is it a matter of time before some Peter take control ? He knows now that he sends her what she sends him, so did him sent it to another people? Did he share it? and if he log into another porno site, will he find her pics and videos under a topic like a hot Egyptian girl striping, in this moment he must started crying, I am sure he did, not just because I start to feel my eyes wet, but because I knew what does it feel, he got destroyed, and he destroyed the girl he loved, she will never forgive him, even if she knew the truth, she won’t feel safe again with him, she will always be threat every single moment she talk to him, she won’t understand, and the bad thing that really hurts that he won’t let himself hurt her anymore, she would be more safe if she was with a vampire in the night, it’s done, and it’s over …

I stood up and start walking around the home, it’s killing when we got hurt with things we can’t control, poor Peter, it was March last year when you sent me this, and since that I didn’t see you, actually no one did , you just disappeared and you haven’t been seen since that day, I don’t know where are you now, and I don’t know if you are safe now, or doing well, I don’t know if you started as a new person in another place, actually I don’t know if you are alive, and it seems like I will never know, and your sad family won’t too

You decided to take all the pain, I didn’t know why did you sent me this, should I tell her, I didn’t, and I know that’s what you really wanted, it would be easy for her if she remember you as a bastard jerk, I know she won’t take it if she knew that you are not that man she though, and you decided to hurt yourself to let her live in peace and feel happy again, I don’t know about her anymore, but I can see her with someone else, and of course she forgot you, my heart still hurts for you, everyone is sad for you, but if you are still in this world, I know that you are happy for her now, that’s what you wanted, and I think you get it, And I think I made the right decision, but I will pray that everything well be okay again, and I will always be proud that I knew you ..

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6 responses

  1. Eh elet eladab de !!
    wesh keda
    shel shel !

    June 4, 2012 at 5:04 pm

  2. aly mday2 ywad7y wesho b3yd
    7ated5oly tebosy sa3a w terga3y t2oly ya lahwy yeb2a etla3y mn nafo5y

    June 4, 2012 at 5:08 pm

  3. w ana 7abos 3ala eh ya sokar ya3ny
    ana bas makontsh fakrak morahek keda 😛

    June 4, 2012 at 5:10 pm

  4. And now u knw
    are we having a deal ?

    June 4, 2012 at 5:13 pm

  5. …………./´¯/)………….(\¯`\…………….
    …………/….//……………\\…\……………
    ………../….//……………..\\…\…………..
    …_/´¯/…./´¯\… ……../¯`\….\¯`\ _…..
    .././…/…./…/.|_…….._|.\…\…\…..\.\…
    .(.(…(….(…/..)..)…..(..\..)…)…)…..).)..
    .\…………….\/ ./……\…\/……………./..
    ..\…………….. /………\………………./…
    …\…………….( ……….)……………../….
    ….\…………….\………/……………../…..

    June 4, 2012 at 5:30 pm

  6. Heba

    he wasn’t forced to do this !!

    June 5, 2012 at 4:03 pm

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